I said a few months and then proceeded to return with the New Year. Surprise! I wanted to start this off a little differently and discuss a goal I have for myself in terms of writing for this upcoming year. Except, I wrote this at like 12:30 in the morning a few days ago, and wrote it in a hurry in my journal app because I was overwhelmed with the idea at the moment. I’ve only edited a few things for basic grammar and context, but here are my 2026 writing goals, presented in the form of an ode to writing. Except it’s not technically an ode because I did not spew out a poem, but rather a long and winding story about my heart and desire to write that slightly goes off track. Please bear with me, it’ll all make sense at the end.
Happy New Year, I say on January 2nd, 2026, at 12:26 AM. I don’t stay up this late, but I’ve been overcome with a newfound energy. This idea was sparked after reading 31k words about a road trip. Don’t ask how or why I got to that point, but I ended up posting an Instagram note saying ‘who tf writes 31k about a road trip’, and my friend said I would. It sounded ridiculous, but the more I thought about it, the more I couldn’t help but be amused. This person really liked to write. Or, more so, they enjoyed telling the story so much that they drew it out to 31k words of a stupid road trip AU that I still haven’t finished reading because it was so long. In retrospect, I’ve only ever written 14-16k of something, and even then, I ended up cutting it down to 7k. But it was inspiring; even more so when my friend herself wholly believed I would write something like that. And so there’s that itch again, that desire to write.
I’m actually really emotional as I write this. (How embarrassing) I’m rawdogging this like everything else I do in the heat of the moment, but I think I’d like to pronounce it to the world again. I like writing. Moreover, I love it. It’s a part of me. My heart and soul, all merged into one: an indescribable bond and attachment to it. I love the way words can pour out, how I can say everything in my head at once. It’s sooo cliche, I know, but it’s just so perfect for me. I found myself itching to write during my winter break. I have a terrible attention span, unfortunately, and I’m such a try-hard that I needed to do something so I could feel good about not doing anything. So while I binged Stranger Things and cycled between that and watching Hermitcraft and doomscrolling on X, I wrote. What I wrote is a secret- a personal thing for myself to keep myself happy- but I wrote. And by god did I love it. In that, I didn’t write pieces as I do now, but stories as I did as a kid. When I was still a child, and I still had the time and the enthusiasm for books that I wanted to write my own. It was delightful–truly. But in that, I realized that I couldn’t write it as fluidly as I wrote pieces. I always claim that writing is easier and flows naturally, but I was stuck. The issue was dialogue: I couldn’t frame it right. On X, I engage with and follow other artists and writers. (Of fanned fiction and general writing, amongst many other things.) Each person is so wholly different and true to themselves in how they write and create, it’s remarkable. One of the writers, when asked about her favorite part of the writing process, said she loved dialogue and “fleshing the characters out.” I felt the opposite. Me myself I came to hate it. Why, I asked myself, and I figured it’s because I do little talking in real life. I’m not a quiet kid. I was an introvert when younger, but as time passed and experiences and interactions occurred, I grew into an extrovert. I can converse far more easily than before, and I am louder, but I’m still quiet. I don’t usually talk unless it’s needed, or I don’t generally feel the need to. While I generally prefer to observe rather than converse, it was more for reasons of uncertainty and self-consciousness, but also in a desire not to mess up. I somehow grew into a person who didn’t talk as much simply because I feared saying the wrong thing. And yet I don’t hesitate to say what I think when I write. Was it different because this was for myself? I’m not sure. Maybe it was that feeling that transversed into my writing, that I grew less comfortable with dialogue. But continuing, I found myself more drawn to explanations. I can feel it in my pieces as well. I love to explain–I overexplain, really. I love details. Even as a kid, I’d spend hours detailing every small thing in my story. The patterns on the dragon, the medicine techniques, the storage system; everything. I loved creating that world, building things from words alone. I couldn’t create people well, but I could structure the story and the world around them. I just love to describe, and that’s why pieces have become easier than stories for me now. Simply because I can describe. My heart and soul are in words and sentences better than I could if I talked. It’s just a hunch, though. I’m still not sure. But one thing I can guarantee is this.
This is no ordinary post. I do realize that now my posts will be observed by universities and colleges alike since I’ve submitted this as part of my application. I’m proud of what I have, of what is reflected here: ten years of hard work and growth through writing. But now I want to take the next step forward, and that’s this. For 2026 and onwards, I want to become a more sincere writer. I talked so much about ideas and events around me before I went on hiatus for college apps, but now, I want to talk about myself more. Going back to the story of talking less, I want to be more comfortable about talking about myself. No longer being vague and trying to deflect things, but rather being more open with myself and in my writing. I don’t want to be held back by a fear of coming off wrong or by my own limitations to a point where I end up not fully saying what I want to. Especially when I find writing the most comfortable way to converse and fully express myself. I want to become more sincere in what I say, and I’d like to try and be more of myself as I write. Really showcase how much I love to write by putting more of myself in my words. I want to show off, to overexplain, and talk about myself to a point where you’d have to tell me to shut up, and I want to do it sincerely.
This is a big year for me. I graduate- something I’ve been looking forward to since my sophomore year. I’m going to college. I’m going to turn eighteen. I’m going to travel. (I already do that one, but I like traveling, so this year holds the prospect of new adventures.) There’s so much this year has to offer, and I want to make the most of it. I want to document it all. Like those vloggers and influencers online, I want to do the same, through my words, and I guess through my own stories. So that’s what I’d like to do for 2026. Consider that my New Year’s resolution. So, as a start to my return to writing, this is me, signing off for the first time in 2026. I’ll see you in the next post.
