I want to bring up this topic because it’s become more common around me. Even if I find it more commonly in the typical back-to-school drama going on, but also in between some international levels. Before that, let’s have a quick refresher.
School started for me last Wednesday, and despite being there for only four days, there has been A LOT of drama. There have been a lot of different aspects within all this, but there is one very specific part I want to talk about.
So, there has been a lot of disagreements over who sits with who at lunch. One main argument happened Thursday-ish where two of my friends had a disagreement with one another, and one friend texted me about it. Let’s call this friend…Coni. Coni and the other is Glasses. What happened is, Coni sat with another friend of hers. We cannot control who she is friends with, but this certain friend is currently on bad terms with me and is not very much liked by Glasses. Since Coni decided to sit with that friend instead of the two of us that day, Glasses got upset and texted Coni about it later that afternoon. As a result, the two had a disagreement, and later Coni comes to me saying how Glasses unfriended her. Coni talked about how mean Glasses was acting, and when I soon became annoyed at her rants, Coni says that I was being mean as well and did not defend her. And here’s where the pinnacle comes.
Should we fight others’ battles?
Yes. An immediate response. Well, why wouldn’t you? Isn’t it right to help others when they need help? Yes, and no. Helping others is right, but it depends on whose battles are more worth fighting.
This question comes from one simple text I got from my friend. “You did absolutely nothing to defend me.” Amid a minor argument between us two, a question was burning in my head after a text. “Why should I defend you?” To any onlooker, I might sound harsh or even cold. But, I had my reasons. When I first read the text, I immediately asked myself if it was ever established that I was supposed to stick up for her by default. Sure, I’m a pretty kind person and I’ll stand up for anyone in trouble, but it just didn’t feel right. For instance, it felt like she expected me to always fight her battles or always be on her side no matter what. Second, my friend was never in a place where she could not stand up for herself or was struggling to fight. She was more than capable to solve the matter herself, yet she expected me to help her.
One should not fight anothers’ battles unless they are worth fighting. If someone cannot fight their battle, then someone should help them. If some freshman kid is being bullied by a bunch of seniors, shouldn’t someone step in to help that kid? Someone should help him stand up for himself until he is strong enough to stand up for himself. Similar with countries. When some allied countries are suffering or cannot fight in their battle, shouldn’t a friend come and support them until they can once again? Yes. They should. But they should also be aware of the ones that are not meant to be fought in.
If you unnecessarily get in someone else’s battle, not only will there be a bigger problem, but you will also be gone against by the original opponent, and the one you were trying to help. You are interfering with someone’s personal matter. The only time it is necessary to interfere, is when it shows they cannot fight their own battle, or when they ask you to help do so. Otherwise, it is best to stay out of it and let matters be.